Purge

I love a programme that thanks the Ordnance Survey in it's credits. Followed by House of Elliot, this could be the most ideal bit of programming I have seen since I stopped watching TV the last time. Wow. I just finished a £4 goats cheese like it was a 25p goats cheese. All melting gorgeous at room temperature, on thin bits of apple, oh my god. Little Ryding. I chose it because of the name if I'm honest, but it was most rewarding. Very indulgent. Lipstick, nail varnish and goats cheese anyone? You've got to indulge in these times so they say. Can't wait for Coromandel 473, delicious.

My channel has just closed for the night! Yesterday. My ideal channel and it's only on in the day. That guy was in a hot air balloon! Perfect with my 90s haircut, a 90s special day out! Is it wrong that I still get excited when the Alton Towers advert comes on? Yes it is. Always makes me think of Jonathan Creek, those manipulative advertisers, and their classical chills...oooh. What the hell is Dermot O'Leary doing? he has hair and is pretending to be Paul O'Grady. At least he's not pretending to be Lily Savage. Or Cilla Black. QVC was something else. I nearly let it slip at the hairdressers that I saw Antoinette Beenders on QVC in the early 90s. Yes, there was nothing to do in the Midlands as a teenager living on the A4123, so when it rained you just home shopped. Silver jewellery and luxury shampoo.

The cheese isn't goat it's sheep! Well ewe. And it's from Shepton Mallet. I need to ring him about the coffee festivals but I can't seem to bring myself to do it. It's like begging. It was funny when he told me I was rude. And funny when he came in the shop and I had a conversation with my past. Maybe I'll ring him now. When will I be too old to think working at festivals is a dirty waste of time and not a good earner? About the time I'm not thinking of trading in my Tesco vouchers for a Tussauds Annual Pass. Festivals, Alton Towers, Hot Air Balloons, Beirut. Diversify those dreams. Poor Lebanon. Foodie haven waiting to happen but a little bit too dangerous for us westerners, not really used to daily risk of death. Crazy about that earthquake in Italy, death happening, locally. And then some car bombs in Baghdad. Same effect different cause.

Oh it makes getting excited about the new Vogue feel a bit naughty ridiculous. I guess it's just about making sense of things in your own way. That thing about life being futile so you may as well laugh, or do whatever you can, to fathom it. Those police ads have been plaguing me this past week. They are straight off the back of the Keep Calm poster, a mythology that's been brewing for years and is now overpriced and over out. It's called the Policing Pledge, with sayings like 'You have the right NOT to remain silent'. I quite like it. It seems a bit off kilter though, not sure why. We'd like to give YOU a good talking to. Sounds naughty.